Saturday 1 September 2012

A Strange Kind of Hope

Am I crazy? Maybe a little. No one wants to find out they have leukemia. But a part of me wants to hear those words just so I know what's going on in my body right now.

Leukemia can be fixed, if you catch it quickly. It sucks, it's horrible, and no one who has never gone through it can understand just how bad it is. I get all that. But it's TEMPORARY. I am sick and tired of being sick and tired. I want to know that there is an end in sight.

Maybe I can have the doctor at the walk in clinic order the rest of the tests instead of waiting for the hematologist. Or maybe if I get sicker I can get it done in the ER. I know I need a bone marrow biopsy and some more blood work. How complicated can that be?

I just want to know what's wrong, and I'm well prepared for it to be cancer. I'd rather it be that than something that can't be fixed.

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